Oh boy. I can guess how you’re feeling right now. I mean, you were so close. Making Obama a one term president would have really been something. And you really almost did it. Did you see those poll numbers right after the first debate? What am I saying, of course you did. There’s a balled up copy covered in semen right next to your california king-size bed with bald eagle print slik sheets. But now, your brief moment of self adulation, warm and moist with dreams of victory, has passed like a fart through magic underwear. People are recoiling from you. So stop, drop whatever you were doing, and listen to me. You can fix this, and I’m going to tell you how.
Keep it up.
I know, I know. everyone is saying to shut it down. Don’t talk about rape or sexual assault in public forums. Ignore them! If you stop now, you’ll look weak, and if history has taught us anything, it is this: the only way out is through. Speak from your heart! Tell everyone what you really think! The people of America are hungry to hear your feelings on equal pay, sexual assault, reproductive rights, and especially God’s intentions for their bodies. I’m not being ironic. Tell us more. What IS the deal with black people? Just come out and say it! What do you think the differences between men and women are? LIST THEM. Where do gay people go after they die? Answer this one really loudly! Is your foreign policy based on old testament scriptures about the apocalypse? Don’t keep that gem a secret! We’re all thinking the same thing about rape, but we need you to articulate it for us. People will act shocked, even angry, but in the long run everyone will realize you were right, and that’s how you win an election. Ignore the polls. Ignore the pundits. Listen to me. On behalf of the American people, please, keep it up.